Is this what my life will be?

The one elements in life that is indefinitely obviously missing is everlasting happiness, is so strange how other people around me is having constant happiness by things, people and love they given/receive. Seriously what's never enough to be given from me? Is it never enough or am I trying too hard? Hah, fate? In a way, i might say, god create all this, me being this way, having peers that just come and go. Its utterly amazing how my ex-classmates are still together and now, never even there to contact me ever.

People having and making rumours of how I am, and suddenly a person drifing away is like a paper being blown by wind. I'm never happy, seriously, never. Be it changed or not, its still the same, i'm lack of everything, seriously, I wish I were never even born.

If i'm gone too quiet for one week, hah, will anyone even bother? I don't think so.
The world doesn't revolve around me, yeah, now fuck it.

Mum, you know if you were to be here, the family is what i will call family.
Now it changed, i can't depend on dad or anyone in the family.

Why is my life this way. Seriously, why? Sigh.

Do you dream, that the world will know your name
So tell me your name
Do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?
I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside I wanna feel
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive
To know I'm alive

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

Do you believe, in the day that you were born
Tell me do you believe?
Do you know, that everyday's the first of the rest of your life

F a y.